You Know What I Did This Summer in UK, Chapter 1: Going There; Lot’s of Cars; Day-off for 3 Months;

Stamped, printed, packed, settled and READY TO GO!

Honestly, i can’t F***ing believe that i am actually going to UK for a 3 month stay for study. I had a stamp on my letter from TAR College office that confirms my application for a 3-month degree course for Mechanical and Manufacturing Engineering. This looks like a holiday to me.

I’ve been through tough times during the half-year period after my final exams and this 3-month program, seems like a perfect holiday with my girlfriend and my friends. HELL YEAH! BRING IT ON!

I had my Air Asia ticket printed, passport checked, bank-drafts readied and my hair cut ultra short (but not bald). I told the hair dresser to give me a hair cut that lasts for at least 3 months, and so he did a great job on that. Then, i packed all my clothes and made sure i have enough underwear for a week before i wash my clothes. I had to buy some extra. On the last day itself, i still have some stuff at the office to sort it out. I made some last minute corrections on some engineering drawings and got them printed and sorted out so that the ‘BOSS’ could understand, or TRY to understand any shit that i put into the drawings.

I called Mok to triple confirm everything we had to bring. This is especially important because we are the two idiots (or smartass) who decided NOT TO FOLLOW the tour arrangements for all course-mates. We are the cheap asses who decide to cut cost (up to RM1000) and took Air Asia and decided to go to UK BY OURSELVES.

And off we went on an epic journey and an epic overseas life of our lives.

We sat on separate rows.Both of us were at the tail-end of the plane, sitting next to the window. We got to know a Polish engineer, who was sitting next to me, and Mok who sat behind me chatted with a guy from Birmingham; And all of us were looking at the hot stewardess. Well, guys speak the same language.

It was a 13-hour flight. We sat until our asses soar. We watched movies together, with the two newly-met blokes and we saw one of the most beautiful sight in Aeroplane flights. We looked out the window and saw a vast highlands, so vast that it sees no end. It’s all dry, rocky mountains and looks inhospitable. We could still see specks of greeneries within what looks like tiny valleys. It was beautiful we got speechless.

We asked the pretty stewardess where are we flying by and was thought to be somewhere in the middle-east. Probably Pakistan or wherever. It was a beautiful sight.

We touched down at 11pm UK time at Stansted Airport, said good bye to the two blokes and slept on the airport floor until 5am. The next bus will leave on 7am. We had to spend a night in the airport. Sleeping there was difficult because the floor was very cold and we weren’t use to the weather yet. It was freezing.

 

To make the night easier to pass, we unpacked our laptops and tried to go online but couldn’t. It’s not free and you need to register. So, we could probably listen to music and play some games. We took turns to sleep just to keep an eye for our belongings.

I got cheated by some white bastards GBP10 for two SIM cards but i got no choice. I had to call my friend who lives in Birmingham that i have already touched down so that if any shit happens to me before i reach my accommodation, she could help out.

That night, it was Friday night. We knew our friends had already checked in the hostel few days before and that we have told the officials that we will arrive on Saturday afternoon.

**********

The next morning, we took the bus and it drove for about half an hour to the transit stop. It wasn’t exactly a station but just a bus stand somewhere in London. We had to wait for an hour until the bus that takes us to Sheffield arrives.

I can swear this to God. For that hour, we have never seen so many (or much) beautiful and expensive cars in our lives. For that hour, we saw 11 different Porsches, 4 different types of BMW M3, a few Bentleys, a few old Rolls Royce, plenty of Superbikes and a Ferrari California. You can’t even get to see a Porsche at any time in one week in Malaysia.

Then, we begin to truly understand what most Malaysians call a pathetic government. Their tax is so low and purchasing power so high that the number of Porsches can easily outnumber the amount of BMW and Mercs in Malaysia; And that the amount of BMW is like the amount of Toyota or Hondas in Malaysia. I begin to realize that i have to change the government and i have to vote. Then, i begun to regret that i didn’t register for vote. You can throw me eggs and vegetables and fruits at my face when i get back.

That hour was the best live show i have ever had. Lot’s of cars to be seen and admire. And, my oh my, they don’t buy sports cars to pose, they really drive them hard even on public roads. They literally floor the accelerator. Unlike the pathetic Malaysian rich buggers who owns an expensive sports car and drive at a snails pace. British drivers have exceptional skills: quick, clean and tight, especially around corners.

I couldn’t really snap any photos of those cars because they were fast, really fast.

Then, the bus arrive. We saw lots of greeneries and then a nuclear power plant. I admire the harmony between humans (with their development and weapons of mass destruction: which is the brain) and the environment. Despite being one of the G8, having lots of nuclear power plants, Motorways, and lots of sports cars, there are plenty of greens and clean air. In fact, i could say their air is cleaner than Malaysia.

Just imagine Cameron Highlands and increase the size as big as South-East Asia. That is what it felt like breathing in UK. Even Genting Highlands, being cold and over-developed, doesn’t have the air quality of UK. This is simply a brilliant country.

On the bus, Mok chatted with a passenger sitting next to him. She’s a she, a girl i mean, and she’s born in Sheffield. She had a heavy accent but that was nothing compared to the Liverpool accent, according to her. It was quite difficult to hear what she was saying but we’ll get use to it.

Along the way, i got see plenty of cabriolets, sports cars and really good German cars. I even saw my favourite Caterham. This is an awesome country with it environment and cars, lots of them.

**********

4 hours later, we reached the Sheffield interchange. I took out the Sheffield Hallam University guide book where its last page shows the map around the city campus. All i have to do is to turn left, walk along the main road and turn right when i see the Howard pub.

It was a Saturday and the place seems pretty quiet. The main entrance was quiet and the reception only had one person working. Mok and I approached her and said: “Hi, we are from Malaysia and we are the summer program students. We would like to register or check-in or whatever procedure you have to take us through.”

She said: “I had no idea what i have to do with you. It’s a Saturday and nobody is working. Maybe I'll call the security personnel and see what they can do for you.”

Before my friends depart from Malaysia, me and Mok had told Bosco that we will live in the same apartment, which is Victoria Hall. So when the security personnel came, she was a very friendly lady, we told her about it and she took our names and searched through the database.

The phrase we hoped for, she said it: “I’ve called Victoria Hall and yes, they are expecting both of you.”

She brought in a private hire car and drove us to our accommodation. Damn, we are so relieved. The guys waiting for us at the accommodation brought us to the top floor of our block. There were 4 levels and no lift. Our luggage, altogether weighing almost 70kg had to be carried up to level 3 from Ground. After 30 hours of traveling, we used all our strength left to carry our luggage up.

Then, we saw Bosco and John in our unit. What a relieve. We unpacked, showered and do whatever shit we had to do and rested. The guys in the same accommodation, course-mates, were amazed and glad that we arrived in one “piece”.

That night, we had a really really good sleep. Because we travelled for 48 hours and we were very exhausted. Because the moment we saw our friends and that we could really relax. Because we knew everything ahead are pre-arranged. But most of all, because me and Mok knew that our troubles are behind us, at least for the next three months. With the latter reason, we could really, really have a good night sleep. I mean, really.

That’s day-off for 3 months.

P.S.: I’VE SEEN A PROTON SATRIA GTI!! OMG~~~~!!!! how pathetic….

To Say that I AM STILL ALIVE!!!

It’s been pretty darn quiet for a long time…hope everybody miss me. (yea right)

I’m gonna post some blogs about what i’m doing this summer in a land where the sun and moon meet… Stay tuned.

Vision; A Gratitude To Aussie

I met this bloke, an Australian. Let’s call him Aussie. As an Aussie, he is small, tough built but his muscles are all flabby. His body indicates that he was once an athlete a long time ago. So, now he has fat at all the right places with the right quantity. But he is still fat. And bald. In short, he is mildly out of shape.

As for me, I’m a lucky bastard to meet this bloke. He’s a man of vision and a good for the game he plays. His game: entrepreneurship. Of all the people that i met in my life, he is the closest thing to Tony Fernandes.

Just like Datuk Seri Tony, he has visions. He can see large bags of money walking all over the place in the exhibition hall while we participated in an exhibition. He see people as opportunity to start and grow a business. He see people as “bags of money walking around. These are opportunities. They are just there for the taking, as though they are waiting for you. You just need to grab them.” Which explains why he is so animated, enthusiastic and loud to grab these bags-of-money’s attention.

I could say he together with two other lads of his that i met in Guangzhou, practically brainwashed me. They say i have potential. I just need to break the bubble where i am trapped inside.

But i can never forget that bags of money he mentioned to me. That is because when i got back to Malaysia after 2 weeks of random-travelling-in-cars-for-at-least-5-hours-everyday, i resumed the works that i put on hold and begin to have vision. You could call me insane, but i call my visionary. Well, maybe i am insane or “Baptized”.

In front of me, I could see a road. Further down the road, i could see piles of money and medals probably as tall as me. (my height is 186cm). On that very same spot, i could my beloved BMW transformed itself into a 2.2litre supercharged modified saloon complete with great ICE system and M3 body kits.

I see further down that road, i could see more piles of cash, taller than me and in many groups, and a Nissan GTR and my own dream car project. Whichever comes first is up to me. After that, I could alter and pave my own road at any rate and at any time, any height, with anyone and with anything.

Then, i drop the scope and look what is exactly right in front of me. I can see a wall and a large obstacle. The wall is that bubble he mentioned to me. The obstacle, sorry to say, is my own father. Not to say i must destroy my father. This obstacle is indestructible, but immobile. So, i just need to find a way to go round it.

Then, i looked at the other pathway just next to the road which i can access anytime. I could see stability. I could see rail guards that stop me from falling over or crashing into a tree. I could see my mom and Aussie telling me to work hard, get my ass in gear and showering me with words of wisdom.

Suddenly, i saw myself in the mirror that i’m a sponge. I could absorb impacts, dampen shocks and absorb water and minerals so much and so fast that i’m asking for more. (but don’t fucking rape me…) And i’m so eager to utilize all that i have absorb to go pass this obstacle and break down this wall to achieve what i have dreamed of achieving since i’m a child. I see my allies, ready to pull me through in times of trouble, standing by the side holding the sledge hammer and tools, and a small hammer to hit me in the head in case i forget something.

For Aussie, thank you so much for bringing me riding shotgun and help you out. I will always follow it through to the end. And if i forget, which i commonly do, whack me in the head to remind me.

This is the vision i once used to see, and then lost to the obstacle. If it is not for you, i would have lost my mojo forever. Thanks a lot, mate.

p.s.: I have a lot more to share with you (my readers) and you (filthy white cunt), but time doesn’t seem to be enough. I’ll write more about the Guangzhou trip when i’m in the mood to write a lengthy post. Stay tuned!

End of Term; To Laugh or To Cry; Aim for The Moon

Whew. It’s the end of college spell. Plenty of memories to saviour, though many of them are pretty embarrassing but it’ll be so fucking funny when we look back. These good days.

I had a great end to my semester. It ends with the last exam paper with an additional STOMACH ACHE. I don’t understand why. I shit before i leave for college but my stomach begin growling in pain as soon as i step out of the house. It was too late to go back to the toilet so i went ahead with the last exam.

I was laughing my way throughout the test because it was easy, though i regretted not memorizing one question. So, you could imagine, the worse the stomach ache, the faster i complete the paper. I completed it in 1 hour and when to the clubhouse to shit.

The clubhouse toilet is my favourite toilet. It feels like home. It’s clean and complete. What a great way to end the term.

But there’s more after the exam. Before the last paper, me and my project mates received a letter for the VIVA interview (pronounced as vai va, not viva). No idea what the hell it means but it’s an interview for the final year project students who got an A or failed their thesis. I was expecting a fail or a pass. Since i got the letter, i braced for it.

Opened it, i saw the date: 17 January 2011. That’s a date for those who got an A. I don’t know how to react. The car was screwed up and yet i got an A. I went home, not knowing whether to laugh or to cry. I went out with my girl that night and i bought myself a Carlsberg special brew. I drink it all quick. Then, lying on the bed much later, looking at the ceiling still not knowing whether to laugh of to cry.

Suddenly, i felt so sleepy. It was already midnight anyway. So, i slept. The next morning, i still do not know whether to cry or to laugh. At night, my girl talked to me and i laughed. WOHOO! I GOT AN A FOR MY PROJECT!

That A is very precious. It’s precious because the subject carries 6 credit-hours, which means it’ll boost your CGPA A LOT. It is also precious because some say our supervisor, a chattered engineer, is a tough man to deal with, what more getting an A. It is also precious because at least i know there are people out there who understood and appreciate what we have done despite constant inference by the wrong people.

During the VIVA interview, there was only one question asked by a lecturer just to get clear of one confusing part. To put things in perspective, the VIVA interview is the toughest presentation. The panel expects you to be the best in your presentation and flawless in your thesis. They will question you to test how far you understood your thing and how deep is your understanding. It’s a no joke. We wore out best formal dress minus the coat.

We were prepared for the worse, especially since our prototype failed. We were sure they are gonna bombard us with questions to prove our worth for an A. If our presentation wasn’t impressive, we might be downgraded.

But surprisingly everything went smooth. The panel seems very impressed by everything we had done. The only complaint was our thesis. There referencing flaws and many other flaws. So, the head of division gave our thesis back and correct them to retain the A. It has to be flawless.

Once upon a time, i read a book called P.S. I Love You. It was a great book. I remembered a phrase from the book very well. It says: Aim for the moon. If you missed, at least you’ll land among the stars.

We’ve missed, but we landed upon the stars. We got an A together with a hell lot of knowledge and experience. We practically carved a path for ourselves into a new future and into a new discipline. Our lecturers were very supportive of our further planning and even gave us a VIP to approach: another chattered engineer who is a professional in the automotive engineering.

My team mate will help me to realize the dream and i have many opportunities waiting for me to grab. All i need to do is put in more effort. My parents, who used to be sceptical about my vision, was finally convinced i’m on the right track by judging on the response from people.

It just feels great. But we have more work to do. We are only at the stars. We need to go further. The universe is boundless. We just have to work it.

To my fellow course-mates-cum-new engineers. I wish everyone the best of the best. I wish they would do the same, aim for the moon and achieve something meaningful in their lives. All we need is passion, commitment and the balls to do it. GOOD LUCK!

Photo courtesy of Chong Yao Wei

I know why I can't score, Little Red Riding Hood.

Most of the subjects i took exam, the lecturers will always tell me to use COMMON SENSE or UNDERSTANDING when answering questions. I did just that and yet i couldn't get a good score. I would get a boderline pass or slightly higher than boderline pass. I do not understand. It has always been this way since High School.

But one day, i was chatting with my friends and i figured out why...

Let's imagine i am about to sit for an exam called Literature. And the literature that i am about to be tested is Little Red Riding Hood.

Of course, as usual i won't bother to read the entire, lenghty story and that the lecturer told me to use COMMON SENSE and UNDERSTANDING. Of course, i understood the whole story but not exactly what happen throughout the story. So, i have to rely on understanding from summaries and notes. I know there is a wolf in the house and Little Red Riding Hood went into the house and God knows what happen, and it's corresponsing meaning values and hidden messages.

So, there came the million dollar question:
What happened to Little Red Riding Hood in the house?

Crap, who would have expected this question. It's too straight forward to even bother to study. I only knew what bullcrap moral values and concepts as explained in tips and notes, but why hell would i bother what happen in the house?

Then came UNDERSTANDING and COMMON SENSE.

So i answered:
The Wolf jumped out off bed and RAPE the virgin Little Red Riding Hood until the Wolf has fulfilled his lust then ATE her alive.

Day's later, the answer was wrong. I argued. But the lecturer said it's the wrong answer.

That's not fair. It's pure understanding and common sense. I'm a big bad wolf, a criminal. I see a virgin chick and both of us alone in a house. Of course i would rape her first then eat her later. How often do I get to FUCK A VIRGIN! What more that i'm a Carnivorous criminal, A BIG BAD WOLF! It's pure COMMON SENSE and UNDERSTANDING!

But the fact is, the marking scheme said otherwise and the story book shows i'm wrong.

Well, so much for understanding and common sense. Now i know why i can't score on my favourite subjects, Ms. Little Red Riding Hood.

Good luck for my exams....lol....

Emotion; Breath; Roller Coaster

Finally, the Final Year Project has been completed, amid failures.

The course of the project felt like The Amazing Race reality series. Contestants wake up and race against each other for the top spot. Their life was fast-paced. They just fly by through everything faster than usual. It’s high life. Out of the dozens of contestants, there is only one winner. I’m the remainders who failed to reach the checkpoint in time.

It’s sad to see you very own creation being stamped and torn and then meshed into something else that fails you. Then, you remind yourself again: this is YOURS. Heart ache is the word.

Anyway, it’s over. Just like the eliminated Amazing Race contestants, they wake up the next day feeling like everything just moves too slowly. Or things just seemed to slow down. That high-paced lifestyle suddenly put its brakes. Things seems to move very slowly. That’s when you realize you could catch your breath, a PROPER breath. You’d inhale so much that you choke. You inhale as though you have never enjoyed that deep, deep breath for a long time. That’s how i felt like. It somehow calms the aching of my heart and eventually forget about it, as long as i don’t mention it.

But it is worth mentioning, or it WAS. It was that aim i am after.

In midst of enjoying those deep breaths, you saw something else that needs urgent attention. In my case, it’s the final exam. Just like the Amazing Race contestants, they need a lot of catch up to do because they were busy with the Race and stuff were left idling.

This semester was the first time that i had not studied any single thing. The project had consumed me so much that i haven’t even seen my college mates for months, let alone attending lectures. Yet, it failed. Sorry to say that to myself.

I wrote this post because the feelings start to sink in. I sloth for a week or so after the Project was ended. I played a lot of games and tried to read the lecture notes. Nothing stayed in my head. Right now, the feeling start to sink in.

For the failure project, i wasted time for study, time for my friends, time to eat proper and sleep proper, time to be emotionally stable, time to BREATH. It was like a roller-coaster ride. It’s fast, there were highs and lows (but mostly lows). I know i will go through such stress and pressure but i never expect i go through this and end up doing rubbish.

Now i look back, things could have been better if i scale the project down a little. I could breath better and absorb better. Now, everything is like a roller-coaster stuck at the submit and not coming down. You realize you could breath better because the roller coaster has stopped, but at the wrong place. It’s not coming down yet.

Try to look down, and you begin to breath hard and shallow. You begin to fear the drop. It’s even scarier when you know the fact that the railings are having serious problems. The railings caused the roller coaster to stuck at the submit and it will fail anytime soon.

I thought: You’ll do down anyway, so just breath easy and relax. Play some games and absorb what you can absorb for the moment. In end, you are just gonna go down, it’s only how hard you go down.

 

Good luck and goodnight. CHEERS!

P.S. I had a very good Bacardi drinking spree with my friends. The drink and them eased me well.

My Future Sex Vehicle

Along the road uphill to my house, there are always people parking their cars for the view of the KL city. My friends, one night, asked me what is there to see the view. I said “well, they can have sex while watching the view. It’s their scenario for sex!!”

They asked “What? they have sex in the bushes?”

I said “No. In the car. They like the excitement of having sex with a beautiful scenery and the risk of getting caught red handed. That way, when they cum they’ll cum really hard!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MOOD.”

I think i’m gonna do that with my wife. I’ll get a car and call it THE SEX CAR!

MyVi is not spacious enough, although you can still do woman-on-top style at the back seat but nothing else.

Toyota Vios is an absolute no no. I can’t even sit straight at the back seat.

BMW 3 series is a little to tightly spaced. A 7 series is probably manageable cuz people still could work it in a MyVi.

A van is illogical. First, uncomfortable. Second, lures the cops. Third, you can’t tint the windows. Fourth, it shakes when you move your hips!

So the best choice is a LARGE, LUXURIOUS MPV. The best model: TOYOTA ALPHARD.

First, it is very spacious. It has reclining seats plus space so you can do practically any pose on the seats.

Second, you can tint the windows so that nobody could see and the cops wouldn’t dare to bother. Cuz if you tint, people think you are a big shot.

Third, it so damn comfortable and luxurious. Fourth, it is easy to maintain and repair, although expensive (Heck! It’s a luxurious MPV). Spare parts are aplenty and you can stiffen the suspension so that it won’t wobble noticeably if you shake your hips too hard!!

BUT… There is still the best, ultimate SEX VEHICLE. THE BUS!!

It is the BEST. It has plenty of space. You do any sex styles as you want as though you are in a room. You can moan as loud and fuck as hard as you possibly can cuz the bus won’t wobble and has adequate sound-proofing. In fact, there were rape cases happened in a bus!!

But getting the ultimate comes with a hefty cost. The bus is very expensive and you need a special licence to own one. Therefore, the ideal choice, EDITORS CHOICE goes to the TOYOTA ALPHARD!

I’ve gotta try that. It’ll be very exciting. One day i’ll buy a Toyota Alphard and show off that THIS IS MY SEX CAR!!!