Finally, the Final Year Project has been completed, amid failures.
The course of the project felt like The Amazing Race reality series. Contestants wake up and race against each other for the top spot. Their life was fast-paced. They just fly by through everything faster than usual. It’s high life. Out of the dozens of contestants, there is only one winner. I’m the remainders who failed to reach the checkpoint in time.
It’s sad to see you very own creation being stamped and torn and then meshed into something else that fails you. Then, you remind yourself again: this is YOURS. Heart ache is the word.
Anyway, it’s over. Just like the eliminated Amazing Race contestants, they wake up the next day feeling like everything just moves too slowly. Or things just seemed to slow down. That high-paced lifestyle suddenly put its brakes. Things seems to move very slowly. That’s when you realize you could catch your breath, a PROPER breath. You’d inhale so much that you choke. You inhale as though you have never enjoyed that deep, deep breath for a long time. That’s how i felt like. It somehow calms the aching of my heart and eventually forget about it, as long as i don’t mention it.
But it is worth mentioning, or it WAS. It was that aim i am after.
In midst of enjoying those deep breaths, you saw something else that needs urgent attention. In my case, it’s the final exam. Just like the Amazing Race contestants, they need a lot of catch up to do because they were busy with the Race and stuff were left idling.
This semester was the first time that i had not studied any single thing. The project had consumed me so much that i haven’t even seen my college mates for months, let alone attending lectures. Yet, it failed. Sorry to say that to myself.
I wrote this post because the feelings start to sink in. I sloth for a week or so after the Project was ended. I played a lot of games and tried to read the lecture notes. Nothing stayed in my head. Right now, the feeling start to sink in.
For the failure project, i wasted time for study, time for my friends, time to eat proper and sleep proper, time to be emotionally stable, time to BREATH. It was like a roller-coaster ride. It’s fast, there were highs and lows (but mostly lows). I know i will go through such stress and pressure but i never expect i go through this and end up doing rubbish.
Now i look back, things could have been better if i scale the project down a little. I could breath better and absorb better. Now, everything is like a roller-coaster stuck at the submit and not coming down. You realize you could breath better because the roller coaster has stopped, but at the wrong place. It’s not coming down yet.
Try to look down, and you begin to breath hard and shallow. You begin to fear the drop. It’s even scarier when you know the fact that the railings are having serious problems. The railings caused the roller coaster to stuck at the submit and it will fail anytime soon.
I thought: You’ll do down anyway, so just breath easy and relax. Play some games and absorb what you can absorb for the moment. In end, you are just gonna go down, it’s only how hard you go down.
Good luck and goodnight. CHEERS!
P.S. I had a very good Bacardi drinking spree with my friends. The drink and them eased me well.
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